Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Heart no more!!!

I always knew there was a problem with my heart...... but never knew it was this sick! Just when life had again begun I came face to face with my worst fear, no matter how much i said or claimed, deep down I always knew I didn’t want to die and today when i know that there is no certainty of tomorrow I am scared...... shit scared! There are a few i know who are sad yet there would be some who would welcome the news...... I don’t know what my last moments would be like but i hope i just live them happily with those i love. I always knew i had a weak heart yet never literally thought about the weakness. Some more time and maybe that’ll be my last.

All this while when i acted emotional i guess rather than over reacting i should have seen some doc. Perhaps that ways i would have known about it much before. All those times i cried it wasn’t me it was my lame heart that’s just toooo sensitive. But what i love the most about this part is that i get to live the last few moments with those i love to the max, i don’t just die coz i have to but i live my best till that last day . Today i am surrounded with people i love and no matter what happened in the past or how bad my heart suffered because of it i know i get to live longer than i would have otherwise.....

Those heartaches weren’t coz of ppl, and nobody made it weaker......i may have to let go of it someday and then there would be a heart no more....

That sure as hell would be the hardest part but I am soooo not ready for a brand new heart....!!