Thursday, September 10, 2009

The little girl in a green skirt....and the gate that once was!!!

It’s been only a few days that I confessed about this thing to someone very important to me and now i will let the world see glimpses of what i once saw as a kid.... i saw her, the little girl and only yesterday i confessed about the green skirt that i forgot way back.....
In psychology most of the things about us in the present have a strong connection back to the time when we were kids. Thus i assume till y’day there was a part of me that was absolutely dead but i let my heart open for the first time unexpectedly and said it all. I say a dozen things everyday that don’t affect me and what i spoke about, the other day was absolutely beyond my understanding, something totally unplanned something absolutely ridiculous but something that once was, that once happened. This is a kind of thank you note to people then and people today......
So the story goes back into the time when I was a little kid. I knew of a girl who had come to live near my grand ma’s place. She was a total loner someone with no friends all that she had was her grandparents. Her parents were away for a while and i really don’t remember her telling me she ever missed them but today i assume she did. I remember, she strolled around the big house all alone in the evenings and she never opened up in front of anyone. I saw her almost every day but she neither cried nor tried. She wasn’t at all mature yet there was something that made her different from the rest of the kids.
Then there came a day when all the kids were celebrating holi in the neighbourhood everybody had colour all over their bodies, everyone was laughing yet this little girl, absolutely clean, was swinging on the gate that made weird noises. She kept looking at everyone around and she had a smile on her face. Nobody knew but she was enjoying something... then one of the kids from the neighbourhood asked her if she wanted to play with them and then she said “it’s my b’day”. She had wanted a little celebration; after all she was a little kid. For the first time in ages she had missed her parents yet she didn’t tell a soul, she kept it all to herself and she didn’t know if she had to cry aloud to belch it out. She saw the drama and then went back inside the house and sat next to her aunt who was busy hiding something. Her aunt was the only friend she had in the whole house, rest all were old people who cared about her yet weren’t interested in what she did the whole day!! Her aunt told her to bathe, they were going out for shopping that day, obediently she took a shower, came outside and saw a green skirt on the bed. She couldn’t hide her excitement. This was the same skirt that made her fight with her aunt. Her aunt had been working all night making this dress and when this little girl saw her making it, in anticipation asked her aunt if it was her b’day gift. Her aunt told her not to bother her, it was supposedly a petticoat. She had cried all night long only to find out in the morning that she was the rightful owner of the dress. She kept running here and there, that was the best birthday gift ever and she just loved it. Then she went out shopping.
The birthday like ordinary days came to an end except that she got a lot of gifts from the whole family. One by one she opened them all and with each gift that she opened her happiness tore away from her like the wrapping sheet. In the end when there were no more gifts left, she missed them... her parents! If only someone could get them home from somewhere, if only someone could make her talk to them but back then phones were a luxury and her grandparents never thought it was important enough to keep them. That night when all was alone and when her b’day was finally over she cried and cried, yet no one knew. That day she learnt not to make a noise about anything.
Then after a few days or months I specifically don’t remember the time but I remember witnessing a moment that brought a smile on her dry lips, I remember seeing her as someone different. For sometime I couldn’t believe it was the same girl. There was some problem with the transformer that day and there was no electricity in the whole neighbourhood so all of us were standing on our terrace playing. This little girl was standing on someone else’s terrace talking to an old aunty when her grandma called her back. Hesitantly she walked back inside the gate and saw two figures and then she saw her grandma holding a candle, she went closer to the figures and hugged them like mad. She smiled and laughed and kissed her parents. They were back to take her away with them. It was still dark inside and she could barely see them, then they gave her their present they gave her a beautiful pencil box that she cherished for a long time. Later that night they got up to leave again she was all set to go back with them but then they told her they’ll come back again after some days to take her home. They had their issues so she didn’t cry and saw them leave.
While they were making an exit she stepped onto the gate and started swinging on it again like everything was fine.......but deep inside..... She had become numb!!!