PAGES FROM THE PAST....

PAGES FROM THE PAST
its all so different, so strange...the change of feelings....the journey from girlhood to womanhood. The change in feelings, the mixed emotions. The tears and the laughter. cant understand anything...what was I before I came to this uncouth place...an innocent female, a chick who was learning to fly. Not that this place has done things to the kid, but strange things happened and the kid gave away the best part of her life that I’ve lost it completely was so valuable to it......
As I relate to my earlier being I cant find . the thought still rankles in my mind, have I been too frivolous or have I done nothing to be ashamed of..... wasn’t too sure now m a sure that m not a kid anymore!!! and I profusely believe in ma statement....I’m not being namby-pamby here when I write all this.... as I shirk away the thoughts and as I try to recapitulate the good moments I feel ashamed of my temerity, I’ve innerved completely, and I have no questions to ask and no answers to give to myself. I look at my past and m happy then when I see the present I know that I’m happy in the present but I have no guts to look or rather think of a future....its all so bleak and undecided. That’s when I feel at times its ethereal and at the other times things and feelings have been so poignant...
I’m very much normal all day long but the uncanny feelings catch hold of my insecurities night and make me feel as if its an emotional wound that wont heal all my life...at times I feel there is a wall of glass between reality and practicality...reality as of now is too sweet and happy whereas practicality is always being solicitous as well as impudent and as I am an emotional freak I’m happy adhering with the reality....
I’m no whipper snapper when I say that I love him cause I actually love him!! Never in my life I felt so lonesome yet so occupied. It stirs up a storm of steamy memories and den a feeling of helplessness, what will I do without him?? Lots of things to do I know but my heart is sad........
TO BE CONT.....